Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The End of an Era: Mixed Emotions

10 years ago I entered an era that I say goodbye to today. Kinder schedule, half-day. (Actually that includes the pre-school year as well.)

My baby graduated from Kinder yesterday. She went today and brought home her report card. She is done. She is being promoted to first grade. From now on, all my children will be in school all-day.

I can book appointments around a 5 hour block of time. I am sure every doctor, dentist, optometrist, chiropractor, hair stylist, etc, also appreciates this. Here my typical conversation:

Receptionist: Are you free on Tuesday?
Me: Yes, completely open.
Receptionist: How about 12:00?
Me: Oh wait, I have to take my Kinder at 12:30.
Receptionist: What about 3:00?
Me: That is pick up time.
Receptionist: What time works for you.
Me: Well, I have between 12:45 and 2:00.
Receptionist: We are at lunch from 1:00 until 2:00.
Me: Okay, what about between 9:15 and 12:00 and I will just get a sitter.
Receptionist: You have a tough schedule.
Me: Tell me about it.

See my problem is that mentally, since I have nothing on my schedule I "think" I am free. But when I break down my daily happenings, it was very restrictive. I only had about one hour and 15 minutes to actually "do" things. Before they were in school, I would just know that I would make the appointment at any time and find the sitter. But in this schedule, I would get tricked into thinking that I had time, but didn't.

So am I happy? Yes. And ... no.

She is my little errand buddy. She can get in and out of the car by herself. She scans the library card and books at the self-check at the library like she works there. She holds my hand everywhere we go. She helps at the grocery store, the bread outlet, Costco. She gives me hugs and kisses and likes to cuddle. She likes to eat her snacks: goldfish, edaname (her favorite) grapes, clementines; while watching Between the Lions or Ni Hau Kai Lan. She wants mac & cheese - blue box, or a cheesy roll up, or a turkey sandwich, or chicken noodle soup, or fish sticks for lunch. She is my last. She promises she will always be my baby. Even when she is a mommy, she says she will always be my baby.

I still have three schools with three schedules. This year I enter the seminary phase of my life. That is a 6 am drop off. Truth be told, I am a morning person so I am not feeling that this is a disastrous phase to enter. Even though I will be in that phase, on and off, for a total of 11 years. Early mornings do not scare me.

I remember, when my oldest entered pre-school and I looked at that horrible half-day schedule, that I could not wait until I was done with it. I had not yet birthed the last two girls, so I thought it would be short lived. It went on and on. Now I have a portion of my life back. At least I will in a month when school starts up again. Three whole days (I will be working two days) of a five hour block of time. Right now it is looking like so much time. I'm sure I will find ways to fill it up, to stay busy, to wonder how I will accomplish everything. Without my little sidekick, of course. Suddenly ... I feel a little lonely. (Yet elated.)

4 comments:

Kimberly said...

Brookyln starts kindergarten on Monday. It looks like I'm in it for the long haul...

Spiker said...

Kindergarten schedules messes everything up! They have all day kindergarten in valencia now. Don't know how I feel about that... happy for the moms I guess, sad for those 5 year olds, that is a long day!

Lisa P said...

Seriously, I am mental! I started tearing up at this post (don't start on me, Linda!) Such a sweet time in life, it goes all too quickly. And I still don't know where the time goes when they're at school, I never get everything done.

meg said...

It does go by way too fast, even when you think it will never end. When my 'baby' graduated 6th grade and we realized my boys had, all together, a 17 year run at our little elementary school that was now done and over with, it nearly did me in. But you will *always* have your little sidekick memories, and she really *will* always be your baby :) So enjoy those free hours now too, because you have earned them - and they will go by fast too :)

xoxoxo